The Sanctity of Life

I just heard a few days ago that the Duggars lost the most recent pregnancy.  I wonder how many of us thought "How sad" followed by "They have enough already" or "That was baby #21"
It makes me wonder if we as a christian community are really pro-life, or just anti-abortion. 

Miscarriage is a strange and sad thing.  I know I have refrained from telling people when I have miscarried out of trepidation of what they might say.  Not fear, mind you, I just don't want to hear their true heart on the matter.  My OB said it best one time; "It is a life that was lost, it is ok to mourn for it." 

I for one am truly sorry, and my heart goes out to the Duggar family. 

Busy Mom's Weight Loss Plan

This is totally tongue in cheek; however there is some truth to it!  I thought of this brilliant plan the other morning as I was still in my pj's at 11am.

First, make sure you are nursing an infant.  This is very important, as it increases the busyness factor by 10+. 
Then, don't eat breakfast til after 11am most everyday- this is sure to throw your body into glucose confusion. 
Thirdly, only eat the crusts of your other children's sandwiches at lunch, while nursing the infant for the nineth time that day. 
Other helpful tips: don't get a nap- make sure you are good and sleep deprived.  Don't drink enough water, this is probably the most helpful tip of them all. 
This also does a great job of making sure you are in a great mood and does wonders for your memory!
A sure fire way to have a great school day and clean house!

OK, so not really.  But if we don't laugh at ourselves, there are plenty of others willing to do it for us!

Real help for Dyslexia

Our 10 yr old daughter has dyslexia.  She is not a typical dyslexic, however, she was still struggling to read first grade readers in the fourth grade.  We had been praying for a while about what direction to take.  A friend told us about Mrs. Bea Edwards with Dyslexia Dear, a not for profit organization that she helped to found.  We started the 12 week program last May, and finished in late August.  It took roughly twelve weeks.  This program deals with the root cause of dyslexia, not just the symptoms.  She has had great success!  She is now working her way through the Sonlight third grade readers, and we are not very far from starting the 4th-5th grade readers, putting us on grade level!  This may not sound like a very big achievement, but unless you have a dyslexic you do not know their pain.  This is a three grade level jump for her- remember I said she was struggling with first grade readers.  Her sisters and brothers can see the huge difference in her reading, and so can we.  I am so very thankful that God led us to this program.  We could have wasted a lot of time, energy and $$, not to mention self esteem.  My only regret is that we didn't find this two years ago.  

Some Fresh Ideas on How to Keep a Toddler Busy (other than the T.V.)

 As you can see, my littlest guy is busy!  And really into what he should not be into!  And he has a three year old brother, and a five year old sister!  They really enjoy school, and it would occupy them for a few hours every day.  But then there is the seven year old in first grade, two sixth graders, and the tenth grader!  

The following list is meant to help you when you need to be doing something (nursing the baby, cooking, doing school with an older sibling), but need your toddler to be busy also and not into mischief.  The ideas here are not all my original ideas; some were compiled through conversations with other moms, some from online forums, and some from websites. 

• Do your task during naptime (OK, duh, but sometimes we overlook the obvious)

• Keep a tub of toys that are just for this special occasion (i.e.- nursing the baby)- “OK, it is time for mommy to nurse the baby so you may get out the special tub and play while I am nursing, but when baby is done and burped and changed then you will have to put the toy back in the tub”.  This keeps it special and makes them feel a little less left out.  Keep it simple, but a favorite, and DON’T let them play with it outside of this time.  Rotate these weekly or so to keep it fresh.

• A swimming pool is your best friend.  What?!?  No, really.  Get a small blow up pool on clearance, and keep it for special play.  Here is the premise:  if you allow legos, only allow legos in the pool.  This keeps the mess contained.  You could allow finger painting on an easel, in the pool. Once they are done paining give them a small spray bottle and sponge to “clean” up the easel with.  OR let them pour rice into containers.  Beans are a choking hazard so I don’t recommend them, but rice just gives you a tummy ache if you eat it raw (from experience).  Use the pool for any small or messy thing you would like to keep contained.  Put it in the kitchen with you while you are in there, and you can keep a decent eye on what is going on.  Again, only allow those activities/toys played with in the pool to be used at those times and only in the pool.  We call ours the “school pool”.  A table cloth could also work on some of these things, it is just not as good at containing the messes.  The pool should not be used as a regular pool would be- keep it special! Another pro- if it gets too messy take it out back and hose it off, then hang it up in the garage to dry all the way.  Or dry it out with a towel, but store it out of sight. 

• Allow them to “wash” dishes in the sink.  Get play dishes, put a small amount of soap in a dishpan, run the water at a trickle, and pull up a step stool.  Your little guy will think he is in heaven! (then they can dry them when the washing is no fun anymore!)

• A largish tub filled 1/3 full of bath warm water (like a storage tub).  Use this in your kitchen in your full sight (no slipping on the tile).  Give them some containers and or a toy.  This is a 20 minute treat!  Keep some towels handy and in the end you get a clean kiddo and a clean floor!  Seriously!

• During school time my toddlers have usually had some kind of coloring activity that is only allowed during school time.  OR Do-A-Dot, watercolor painting, washable markers, etc. 

• PLAY-DO!  Homemade is the bestest, there are lots of recipes on the web, even for edible play do!  Just reserve for when you really need an activity!

• Don’t underestimate the power of older siblings.  We take turns and have a buddy system at our house (we have six, about to be seven).  For example, I need to work with Timmy on his math, so it is Sara’s turn to play with the toddler for 20 min.  Then I switch them around when I need to work with Sara, and use another sibling.  This allows me to spread myself a bit thinner.  They don’t have to be really old; a four year old can entertain a two year old for 20 min if they are trained to do so.  You won’t want them at the other end of the house, but it can get you 20 min! It also spreads sibling friendship and loyalty. 

• Enlist your older kids to help you in your task!  Ten year olds can cook simple meals, or do meal prep.  Five year olds can use a dust buster or swiffer wipe, put away books and pillows, and usually can be convinced to teach little brother how to do these things as well!  They love being helpers and teachers!  My older ones hardly give me a chance to teach the younger ones how to read! 

You may not have older siblings to help in these areas; if not, don’t lament!  They will grow!  Life with littles is hard, but worth it!  Take the time now to train them in the small things and you will reap wonderful rewards in the future!  They can sit still for a few minutes and work on their own!  They are not in your way!  Don’t cast them aside- include them in your day!  They days are long but the years are short. An example of the fruit you stand to reap: my older ones are responsible for making their own beds and helping a younger one with his bed.  They help them get dressed, brush teeth and comb hair. 

But it started with training them when they were two.  I walked them through the picking up of pillows, carrying dirty clothes to the laundry, making their beds, etc.  Train them up correctly now, and when you have more children they will be a wonderful blessing to you!  I am often asked how I “do it” with so many children.  I don’t!  I have help! It is self made help, true, but help none the less.  Also realize that a five year old sweeping job of the kitchen is not the same as a ten year old, or a fifteen year old!  But praise their efforts!  Any help you get is more than nothing! And it builds relationships in your family.  And relationships are all you get to take with you – all the rest is simply ash.

Virtual Schools

I am not sure why virtual schools are so appealing to homeschoolers, but apparently they are.  Or at least their advertising dollars are.  I am seeing increased advertising for these so-called virtual homeschools that actually enroll you in a public school in your state in homeschool magazines.  WHAT?!??

Why are we selling out to any advertiser that has the words home and school in close proximity on the page?

Mary Pride's Magazine Practical Homeschooling sold out to the dollar a while back.  She is supposed to be an advocate of homeschooling.  In response to my complaint she basically said that they didn't see anything wrong with the advertisement.  I cancelled my subscription. 

The latest disappointment is "Home Educating Family" magazine.  These are the same people who bring you the Well Planned Day Planner (I have one!)  They have a full page spread in one issue (I have not checked every issue). 

Seriously? 

Here is a link to OCHEC's website (our state homeschooling organization) which also has quotes from HSLDA on this subject: http://www.ochec.com/Categories.aspx?Id=03d24fa8-ffa7-40ad-8795-94ffee360e23&%LINKIN%28PS_At_Home_Truth%29%

HSLDA and OCHEC say that they strongly discourage signing up for these type of programs. 

I say you might as well put them in your local school.  That is "virtually" what you are doing. 

My real question here though is this: why are we allowing the almighty dollar to rule our business practices as Christians and homeschoolers?

Another great blog post (not by me)

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-as-a-mission-field

OK, I promise I have not been plagiarizing this godly woman's blog posts!  If you look back, you can see my articles were in Jan, hers in June.  Promise! I suppose that it doesn't help that one of mine titled "Motherhood is a real ministry, really" is still in the draft stage.  I suppose God is going to get His message out no matter what! 

She really does a beautiful job at it, this post is no exception. 

Motherhood is a ministry (a real one)

I don't know how articulate I have been about this, but this blog post hit the nail on the head! If only I could be so to the point! 

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank#.TiCg-ABpnD1.facebook

The link is above, since I am not sure how to tag back or whatever it is us bloggers are supposed to know how to do. 

This is an excellent article. Please take the time to read it!

My husband rocks

OK, so this is shameless bragging on my hubbie; but he he deserves it!

A stomach bug has been moving mercilessly through our kiddos since Wednesday; thankfully it moves fast- about six hours.  Three came down with it yesterday evening/night.  He voluntarily did night shift, got little sleep, and went in to work today (not feeling tip top himself).  He works in the heat (inside out of the sun, but still), and even though he has a fan on him- it is HOT! 105' has been our normal high these last two weeks, maybe longer. He felt compelled to work because his shop has not had anything for him to do for the last week and a half or so.  He is a welder, and makes a good living, but they just ran into the "perfect storm" of lack of parts, lack of planning, and a supplier with a melt down.  Sometimes this happens.  Luckily he is in high demand and was able to fill in a few days here and there with some contract work.  It has been wonderful having him home.  The kids LOVE it when he is home!  But when it rains it pours, literally, so he has two shops needing him ASAP and his shop needing jobs out.

Poor guy, to be hit with the bug at this time is too ironically unfair.  He just won't allow himself to be sick.  Because he works by the piece (he gets paid for each weld made, not by the hour) his vacation time rate is not what he makes on even a slow day, so taking vacation time to help make up the difference is really not a help.
So, my hubbie is out there, in the uber-heat, trying to get in a good day despite the fact that he feels really bad.
He deserves a medal.
He is the best hubbie and daddy ever, bar none.
Pray that he stays hydrated and gets well soon.

The Family Man's Bathroom Book of Parenting

"...there is no applause (from the world-inserted by me) for dads and moms who give up success, leisure, position, or ministry to raise the children that God has given them."

The above quote is from Todd Wilson's book listed in the title of this post.  If you have never read one of his books or listened to him speak at a convention, it is worth your time to do one if not both!

He speaks to not trading in diamonds for stones, as many of us do much of the time.  I find it interesting that he includes ministry in the list of things labeled as stones that parents trade their diamonds in for.

Hmm... maybe I should give one away sometime.....

Pickin Berries

We went berry picking this last weekend, and it was so much fun!  We are going again this coming weekend, as well as peach picking.   LOTS of canning in my weekend forecast, but come this winter it will be so nice to have a taste of summer!  Here are some pics:

We picked 18# of berries in about 2 hours.  This was our first time ever to go, so we thought we did OK! You can pick on shares at this farm, meaning they keep 2/3 of what you pick, but your other 1/3 is free!


Here are some pics of the garden.  God has really blessed it this year, which is wonderful.  Last year was such a disappointment.

Just thought I would share these- the kids just love harvesting the "fruit" of their labors!

Beans, the cure for morning sickness (no, really)

This is incredible news for pregnant moms everywhere, and if just one person benefits like I did, I will have done my duty to womankind.  (OK I am being a bit facetious here, but I am pregnant!)

I was very very sick with this pregnancy, and really thought "OK Lord, I am done.  I can't do anymore of this, either to my family or to myself.  I don't want this to be my last baby, and I don't want to tell you no- please don't bless us anymore, but this can't happen more times". I couldn't hold down water, and was basically on the couch just moaning around.  I don't consider myself a whiner, but this was the worst I had ever felt.

A friend at church asked how I was feeling, and I was honest.  She mentioned beans, and that another mutual friend had told her.  We had not shared our news with our children yet, so this friend was the only one that knew.  I had miscarried a twin in this pregnancy- we were not sure how things were going to work out, and didn't want to disappoint the kids with a total miscarriage.  I couldn't call the friend who knew the whole story on beans, so I googled it!  "beans and morning sickness"

I finally found the website http://www.karenhurd.com/concern_morning_sickness.html

I have never met Karen Hurd, or talked with her, but I was desperate and beans are harmless (and good for you) so I ran straight to Taco Bueno.  Not my first recommendation, but I was desperate; too desperate to wait on a pot of beans to cook!  I got relief after about 10-20 minutes,  Not complete relief, but it eased a bit. 

In a nutshell, the theory is that beans (soup beans, legumes specifically) are high in soluble fiber.  The soluble fiber binds with the bile you are producing because of hormones and the fats in your diet.  You get rid of the bile, and the toxins the bile is carrying around.

After a few days, the morning sickness is virtually gone.    You do still have to continue to eat them, sometimes five to six times each day, depending on your level of sickness.  I finally found that one or two servings a day was enough to keep me feeling fine after I finally got over the hump, so to speak.  Around 14 weeks or so the nausea went away and I haven't needed them, although the health benefits are well worth eating them everyday. 

Karen Hurd has an amazing story of how God healed her daughter and her family after a unique poisoning - read about it under the tab "The Poison Rug".  She has a PhD in nutrition, and has general recommendations on all sorts of health issues. 

She really explains all the details very well, and on a level "real" people can grasp.  I was so happy to have any relief, any amount- my kids thought I had lost it!

The beans that Karen Hurd recommends are basically just legumes, or what we call soup beans.
Pintos, black beans, garbanzos or chick peas, lentils, peas, soy, edamame, etc.  Anything that comes in a shell that you hull.  You can use refried beans, hummus, you name the recipe.  I just couldn't eat a lot of fat throughout the day, so I would make a bean only burrito, and skip the cheese and meat.  Even the tortilla was too much at first. Dull I know, but survival first!

Taking it one year at a time...

I keep hearing on an increasing frequency families who talk about taking homeschooling one year at a time.  Usually followed by "we are looking for the Lord's leading in our children's lives and asking direction each year as it comes" or "we re-evaluate what the Lord wants for our children each year".

 WOW!  What pressure for a wife and mom!  The message here is that if she does an adequate job then she will be allowed to school them for another year or maybe semester.  Then here comes the evaluation! 
If God has called your family to homeschool, then why would He change his mind?  If you feel that God is leading you in a different direction, is it possible that you were not called to homeschool to begin with?
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19 NIV

I think there are a few reasons people change their minds about homeschooling. 

• not enough prayer went into the decision- ie- a clear answer was never heard. 

• you are homeschooling with out the blessing of your husband.

• not enough research went into the decision- you underestimated the level of commitment that it takes.  Not even thinking of lesson plans and courses of study, I am mainly speaking to being around your kids for most of the day every day every week.  If your kids are gone most of the day, it is easier to ignore that ugly eye rolling or character trait that is driving you crazy.  When your kids are in your face all the time (and vice versa) you are in constant contact with who they really are.  Are they obedient and willing to please?  Or are they belligerent and constantly pushing for their own way?  This would be hard to be around all the time.  Who would not want to give up? 

I once read that children are like night watchmen, always having to check to see if the doors are locked.  Are they going to say no when I ask again for the ninth time?  If they know you will cave, they get the message that they are not worth the effort of the fight.  Sometimes this is what it takes.  My mantra is "I love you too much to let you act this way"  I think I read this in a James Dobson book.  Strong Willed Child maybe?

• When you homeschool, you are in your "game face" all the time.  You have to be a good example of what you are teaching your kids.  All. The. Time.  There is no down time, no resting spiritually.  You don't get to sit around and be lazy, unless you would like your children to emulate you in this.  

The point I am trying to make here is that our kids need to know that they are worth all of the time, effort, sweat and tears.  When we go back and forth this does not send a clear message of love to our children. 

• there goes your "me time".  Problem with this is, me time is a lie straight from the devil himself! more on this in another post.  Essentially though, we have bought the feminist lie that we are supposed to be fulfilling ourselves in order to be good at filling others!   I recommend the book "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald.  
• I think home schooling is in fashion.  I think it is looked at by some as a more spiritual option than public school, or a great way to get a head start for little Einstein, or my friend is doing it I think I will try it...etc. 

• We are just not willing to make this level of commitment to our family.  Homeschooling means giving up a lot of personals- money from two incomes, freedom, time, sleep, nicer cars, nicer houses in a lot of cases do to direct result of first on the list.  You get the point.   We forget though, that it is all just ash.  Sometimes really shiny ash, but ash just the same.  What we get to take with us is relationships.  That is it. Nothing else.

When we have not counted the cost of what we start, then we wind up like the builders that Jesus talked about- halfway done and out of money.

Mother's Day

This Mother's Day, lots of my facebook friends changed their profile pictures to a picture of their mothers.  I really enjoyed seeing all the pictures of the moms, and seeing the family resemblances, and sometimes pictures of my friends with their moms at a very young age.

I chose not to do this. Not because I didn't love my mom.  It was because I chose to focus on what I do have, and not on what I don't.  

What I DO have are seven reasons to celebrate mothers day, because it is these seven reasons that I am a mother.  It is after all Mother's Day.  There is nothing that says it has to be all about your mother.  In my house, I am the mother.  For me, Mother's Day is a reason to celebrate why I am a mother in the first place!  This means thanking God, who opened my womb. 

If I were to focus on what I don't have, I would have to focus on losing my mother before she was sixty, knowing that she will never hold this new baby that I am carrying on this earth; it would mean focusing on a miscarriage between number five and number six; it would mean focusing on the loss of two twins in two different pregnancies, one of them this one; it would mean focusing on the fact that we could have ten children now instead of only seven; and these are the only the ones that we are positive of! 

Instead, I chose to focus on what I do have, and that is seven wonderful reasons to celebrate being a mother.  Of those reasons, six of their personalities are known to me, and I love each one of them for who God made them.  They are amazing people, each and every one of them!  I wonder at the possibilities in their lives.  One of those reasons I get to wonder about still; what color of hair he will have, or if he will look like the other two boys.  And what should we name him, this new warrior?

I am a mother because of my children.  Without them, there is no Mother's Day.  Without them, it is just another Sunday, special because of the Sabbath, but not a day to celebrate the life that God gives us when he blesses us with children.

We are not really pro-life, we just like to think we are

Seriously.  I am speaking to Christians here.  We like to think of ourselves as pro- life, but truly what we are is just anti-abortion.  Don't get me wrong- abortion is wrong.  It is murder.  Murder is wrong.  I know the Bible allows for capitol punishment, but that is not part of this argument.
My argument is that we as Christians like to stand on our morals and tell others how wrong they are, but we don't want to have to do anything that is inconvenient.

Let me put it to you in questions: How many of us have signed petitions to make abortion (especially partial birth abortions) illegal?  How many of us have volunteered at crisis pregnancy outreach centers?  What about donating money or things to a center of this nature? (this one is a bit easier- you don't really even have to get your hands dirty to donate stuff or money)  These are good and worthwhile things.  Here are a few harder questions.  How many of us have adopted these unwanted children?  Ouch.  

How about some harder questions:  How many of us use birth control?  Now hold on just a minute, that is between us and God! It is my family and I have the right to choose .......  sound like a pro life or a pro choice argument?
Did you know that ALL forms of hormonal birth control are abortifactants? That means that they will not allow implantation if an egg is actually dropped (which it is in most cases every month regardless of taking your pill faithfully).  If implantation is not allowed, what do you suppose happens?  I am not even talking about IUD's or rings; these are abortifactants in their primary action.  Research for yourself- don't take my word for it.

Here is perhaps the hardest of all questions: What about congratulating that larger family on their fourth pregnancy?  But don't they know what causes that?  What about college?  God did give you a brain.....

People can get quite rude about this in public- strangers you have never met feel like they have the right to comment on the size of your family.  If I were a lesbian adopting all these children I would be a heroine.  But since we have chosen to allow God to number our children, we are freaks.  I am not just talking about strangers, this goes for well meaning Christians as well.  I say well meaning, I think that they just cannot fathom the idea.  These are actually some of the most hurtful comments, right next to those from relatives.  Sometimes what is not said is worse than what is.  We are pregnant with  number seven (can you hear the collective gasps?) and not one grandparent gave a congratulations.  Mind you if my mom were still alive she would have said congratulations and meant it.
This is not just a number seven issue either.  Out of six of the children we have had, three had showers.  We just do not celebrate life.

Children are not convenience items.  They are hard work and dedication.  They are dying to yourself daily. 
We tell the Lord "let me have control of my womb", children don't work into my plans right now; and then when we are ready to conceive, we wail to God like Hannah because we can't conceive.   I think He says, "but I thought you wanted me to stay out of it?" The average time to conceive after the patch is 36 months.  But your Dr won't tell you that. 

Children are a blessing, but we don't act like it.  We don't live like it.  We don't even pretend to believe the Bible on this one.  After all, God did give us brains to think for ourselves.

Proverbs 16:25 and Proverbs 14:12 are identical:
There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Psalm 127:3-5

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Worldly wisdom tells us that "Eight is Enough".  But I will tell you that never has one old man or woman come up to me and said, "You have really messed up.  You should have stopped at two."
No, what they do say is, "What a lovely family.  We only had three.  (or four, or five)  I wish we had had more."  

---

The Great Socialization debate

This link is to a great article on socialization. (click the post title to take you to the article)  It compares home school socialization to school (private or public) socialization.  I have heard the argument that public schools are our children's mission field, and that it would be wrong to pull them out of that mission.   The problem with this argument is that children of christian parents do not usually accept Christ as their savior at birth, and thus when going off to school at age 4 or earlier are not even Christians.  Should we send non-Christians into the mission field?  Saying they do accept Christ as savior young (4 or 5) then do we expect them to have the maturity to then spread the gospel to their peers?  What about when they are 10, 12, 14?  They will have been surrounded since very young childhood by an environment that touts acceptance of every religion (except of Christ), promotes worldliness and Godlessness, teaches that you can chose your gender orientation, and passes out condoms to fifth graders.  Hmm...

If homeschooling is just about education, we may as well not bother

The thing is, education can not be the paramount reason for homeschooling your children.  It is simply not a big enough reason to keep you going through the rough parts, and what is more, if this is your main reason you are missing the big picture. 
Of course homeschooling gives a superior education to public school.  Even private school cannot compare.  Your child learns at his own pace and has the freedom to actually dig into topics of his interest to his hearts desire.  Your child's teacher is deeply invested in how well he understands the topics (because it is you!).  As your child's teacher, you see problems that arise far more quickly than would be noticed in a traditional setting, whether they be of a spelling, math or character persuasion.  All of these are wonderful benefits of home education.  But if this is where it stops, then you have missed the vision. 
The primary benefit of homeschooling is the ability to build relationships with your children.  To lead them to be disciples of Christ.  To teach them to teach their children to be disciples of Christ.  It is a multigenerational vision of victory, as Vision Forum puts it.  If my grandchildren are heathens, then I will have failed. 
Being at home with my children all day every day provides an opportunity to work on their little hearts; it provides those teachable moments about seeking God's heart and praying when we need help, asking forgiveness right away when we have wronged a sister or brother. 
It is about letting them see you with your spiritual hair down; do you live what you preach?  When they see you walk what you talk, it is all the more real for them, because your relationship with God is real to you.  And when they see you mess up ('cause we do!) they get great examples of how to handle sin in a godly manner.  You can confess to them right away and ask their forgiveness.  Very powerful stuff!
You see, all of this world is ash.  It will all be burned up one day.  All you get to take with you are the relationships you make, the people that you invest in. 
I simply want to encourage you to invest in your children more than just their education.  I can promise that you will not be disappointed. 

How I made it Out of the FOG (homeschool and otherwise)

Some of us are better than others at seeing what needs to be done, what amount of work is going to be best for each child, which books to purchase for each level, what projects to complete and how to schedule our days.

I am not one of those people.

I decided to try TOG out of desperation. (more on that in a later post- putting it all in one seemed like way too much!) And then I was overwhelmed.  That is not true exactly. It was more like dazed.   I would often tell my husband that it was like I was walking through molasses.  (or as I read later in loose threads- the fog!)  Seems like I read and read and read, watched webinars and looked at the posts on forums and the loose threads loop, and still was missing something. Somehow we were not getting all that I thought we should from our curriculum.  Nothing seemed to be working right.  I have three levels to contend with, LG, UG, and Dialectic, plus a kindergartner, preschooler and a baby.  For now I will just discuss the older three.  I will come back to the younger three.

My UG dd is dyslexic and in fourth grade.  Her younger sis is two years younger but they both do fourth grade work. My oldest is in 8th grade.  NONE of them were brilliant at self directed work in the majority of their subjects.  I was pulling out hair.  No one seemed to understand that we had gotten onto the history superhighway!  They all needed to listen faster!

Here are the things that I began to implement in our homeschool that have made all the difference in our days and weeks:

First-I read and implemented the book Managers of their Chores by Steve and Teri Maxwell.  This helped tremendously with getting the house under control.  And surprisingly, gave me freedom to do the least amount of housework (to my husbands standards of course) that we could get by with and still feel confident that DHS would not be knocking on our door.  It took some time and effort and prayer, but it was well worth it.

workboxes for older kiddos

Second- I read and implemented most of the book by Sue Patrick: Sue Patrick's Workbox System.  I modified this system to fit what we were already sort of doing and what organizational drawers that I already owned. What I own came from Target, and are basically for scrapbooking- 12x12 drawers with lids attached that are stacked seven high.  The oldest has two sets stacked, the grammar girls share two sets stacked (this gives them each fourteen drawers), and then the K and preschoolers have a set like Sue Patrick talks about.  It is just a shoe organizer rack with plastic shoe boxes that are numbered.  The idea is you fill all the boxes the night before with their work (even including a sharp pencil or whatever is needed in every bucket), and voila, planning is done!  This has been KEY to getting the most work done everyday.  This was THE MOST bang for the buck.  Although I need to say here that we do not do typing with any regularity and we definitely don't run (I can see where it would be beneficial!).  Here is a link to view the drawers in the picture above at target.com: Sterilite 7 drawer craft cart

Workbox system for kindergartner

Third- I pulled out all of the Preschool Activity Bags that I had made the summer before, and all of the other preschool bags of activities that I had come up with myself to rotate through the the K and PreK-ers boxes to keep them busy.  Paula's Archives has lots of links to lots of ideas- just be aware that she lists lots of links and I doubt she can keep up with each one everyday of the year.  Pirating of a site can happen to the best of us.

Fourth- I reimplemented a lot of the "tricks" I had read about when researching for my dyslexic dd.  She would likely be diagnosed ADD in a "real" school situation; she definitely has some difficulty filtering noise and distractions, and has trouble sitting still.  Some of these tricks Molly Evert's recommends in her site counterculturalschool.  Some I read about in some other books, and some my chiropractor had told me about.  They seem to be fairly common among ADHD/Dyslexic/sensory integration issue kiddos.  Here is a list of a few things that helped us:

• an exercise ball in a size appropriate for them to sit on and do their work.  The fact that core muscles are constantly engaged helps the need to wiggle and expends some energy.

• provide some kind of tactile stimulation- a small ball with spikes, some silly putty, some small cut of silky cloth, etc. Anything that can be manipulated and is small enough not to be a huge distraction for everyone else.
• cross-crawl exercises everyday- these include some exercises on the ball as well.

There is a ton of info on this out there, but it seems that it can be hard to find.  I will list some of the books and sites I have read on this issue that were helpful to us.  Look for it under my pages.

Implementing these strategies took a good portion of the fog away!  Then I was able to concentrate on the curriculum issues we were having. They did take time however, and it didn't happen overnight.   

UG.  And then reading level is not across the board- ie some LG reads are harder than UG.  But the content may not be quite as engaging.   I finally ditched a lot of the core UG, kept the core LG, ditched the LG readers and kept the UG in depth and really more of the alternates listed. So far it is working.  I found SOW on cd, and Molly's site myaudioschool.com  is a great resource for audio books that can be streamed right from the site.

Also one of the main things is that we are taking TOG at half pace, taking two and sometimes three weeks to do one weeks work.  This allows us the time for the hands on projects that we want to do, and to finish readings at our pace.  My dialectic dd also wanted to include lots of alternative titles as well as the main listings, this accommodates her desire as well.  

We are now in a groove if you will, and making forward progress everyday.  My house will never be in Better Homes and Gardens, but neither will DHS have a leg to stand on with regards to an unkempt house.  My children may not be Rhodes Scholars, but if they love to learn I am extremely pleased with that, and so (most importantly) is my husband.  He is very adamant that the most important thing is not their education, but their relationships with us and each other.

Lord, help me remember what this one is supposed to be

Ever had a great thought you knew you should write down, and hurry off to get a piece of paper, only to have the thought fly right out before you can get it down?  Happens to me daily!  I take lots of B vitamins!  Good ones!  Shaklee!  SO this shouldn't be happening to me!  But when you are running over 1TB (terabyte not Tablespoon) of info through a 10MB processor, what do you expect?  (I like to say my processor isn't even 10MB, I run on VINYL{33's not 45's!})

A few days ago, last week most likely, I had a thread of thoughts that didn't get written down.  I was not obedient to drop what I was doing (in the kitchen) and scramble for a pad to write on. Even my phone!  It was a topic I was supposed to  blog about; now instead I am praying that God shows me His Grace and prods my little brain into remembering what it forgot.

Homeschooling through grief

This is a difficult topic.  Grief is like a worm, or a virus.  You never know what button will cause it to rear its ugly head.  You are fine one minute, the next having a melt down because you are taking one of the last Tylenol from the bottle your mom bought for you when she worked at the hospital (of course the employees can buy those huge bottles for just about $2).  For those who may not know, my mom died of lung cancer this past July.

I don't think all grief is equal.  If the loss were a child, or a spouse, I think it would be a whole lot worse.  I had an entire year to "prepare" for the passing of my mom.  Whatever that means.
And still, I felt like I was walking through a fog.  I desperately wanted my kids to feel some stability, but at the same time allow them to see that it is ok to mourn, and go through a grieving period.  We don't have to be super moms and do it all perfect all the time.  Homeschooling gave us the freedom to have a really lousy year. We made up for it with some double lessons later.  But it gave all of us the chance to grieve and have the down time needed, and just to be around one another was a comfort.

My mom had a gambling problem, and so did the man she was married to, so they never had any money.  I have nothing of hers to remember her by.  I have a very few things she gifted me with (her love language); the pan she used to bring over some treat- "just keep it", the cookie press she loaned me- "you will use it more than I will", some really nice pampered chef place mats, napkins, napkin rings and table runner.  I think she must have won a few thousand that time.

I don't exactly know what to tell someone else going through a loss.  It is hard.  You feel alone.  Others let you down, either by not doing what they said they would, or not doing what you think they should.  They don't know what to say, they say the wrong thing, or nothing (maybe worse!)

Love on your kids.  It helps.  Try and stick to some amount of routine, it helps them and you.  Don't push to hard at school.  There will be time later.  Spend the emotional time bonding with them through the worst of it- they will be strengthened by it. Try and have some fun with them.  Maybe take a break from the real school and do a non fussy unit or just read some good books. You just might be surprised at what good therapy good books can be.  And cheap!  The Lord will supply you will all your needs, if you can trust to lean on Him.  Sounds cliche, but having been through a bit of it myself, I feel that I can say that.

One of the ministries of motherhood-missions

No one would argue that it is vital to send missionaries over seas to spread the Gospel.  But I think that one area of missions that is overlooked is motherhood.  When we think of missionaries, we often think of the family in Africa or some other wild part of the world spreading the Gospel to the native tribes of that land.  We are commanded to do this as followers of Christ.  Jesus is specific in the order we are to go about this.  Our Jerusalem's are the towns we live in, our places of employment and even the places we shop and do our business.
But what about the stay at home mom who is not employed outside the home?  Since she has no real oppurtunity to share the Gospel at work should she then go on a mission trip to Mexico to fulfill this?
I think not.   I think especially not if she has unsaved children at home, but that is another post.  Here is why I think this way:  Titus is very clear about the role of the wife and mother.  Her duty is first to her husband, and then to her children.  Quoting the NIV Titus 2:4-5: "Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
The pronoun "they" in verse four refers to the older women spoken of in verse three.  Older women are supposed to be urging younger women to do these things! This is simply not happening.  Even in christian circles (ie-church) you will hear the exact opposite.  What about your career and your dreams? Don't you know that this ministry NEEDS you? (another 'nother post).  As a stay at home mom who homeschools as well, I am in constant contact with my kiddos.  They are my ministry, after that to my husband. But this ministers to my husband as well, as they are after all his kiddos also.  That my children come to a saving knowledge of Christ is my foremost goal.  All the learning that we do in our homeschool is so that we can wonder at God's Glory.  Sure it will be nice if they are one day productive citizens, but the most important thing is their salvation.  This ball is in my court.  I am not of course the Holy Spirit.  But it is my relationship with them that will have a major impact on them spiritually.  Let's face it.  Who do they turn to with skinned knees and broken dolls?  Learning to count?  As they get older mom becomes the mentor.  I am enjoying my blossoming friendship with my fourteen year old daughter.  Almost in high school, she is at a place where her faith meets the proverbial road of life choices.  Have I shown her in my actions (at home behind closed doors) that my faith is real and sincere?  Or am I walking like a pig and yet quacking like a duck?  Because they don't have to be nearly as old as fourteen to figure that one out.  Because the proof is in the pudding (to borrow yet another proverbial saying)- if you say it is chocolate, but it looks, smells and tastes like strawberry, you are either lying to me or telling me you think I am too dumb to know the difference.  Neither of these scenarios is good for parent/child relationships.
My children are my mission field.  As they should be.  My children are my ministry (after my ministry to my husband).  Yes, marriage is a ministry in and of itself.
Are your children your passion?  or are you just bidding your time til they are out of your hair?  Got that "me time" craving?  It will only leave you empty, wanting more.  It never is filled, because it is Self centered.  Are you loving your husband, loving your children, self controlled and pure, busy at home, being kind, and subject to your husband?  It is a tall order.  It will leave you satisfied beyond anything you can possibly imagine.  It is exactly opposite what the world tells us to pursue.  That should be the dead give away.  Herein lies the ministry of motherhood.

Blogger frustration

Once again I am tempted to ditch Blogger and go somewhere else.  I love my blog template (imported from a wordpress template) but for some reason occasionally blogger decides it doesn't like it and takes parts of it and (not knowing html) does something terminal to it.  SO I have to remove the whole thing, go with something else and then start over from scratch.  Ok, so this is boring, but it is my blog and I can soapbox about blogger if I want.  Not knowing html makes it a bit difficult to navigate the waters that are blogdom, but I don't have the time nor the inclination to learn html.  I will try again maybe Sunday to reset it.  The theme I am in love with is called Desktop chaos, and I think the guy that designed it had a peek into my head- this must have been where it came from. 
Maybe if I blogged more often than once a month I might notice when the thing goes awry. 

That leads me to meander about the general life and meaning of my blog.  I am thinking it needs a new life.  Just not sure what that is going to be yet.  Most likely just my sanity saver.  I would put one of those widgets on that shows how many readers one has, but I am afraid it would just be one.  Maybe two. GO Dad! 
Speaking of Dad, he is seeing a Dr that practices alternative therapies and is having great results.  Now if he would only take all of his vita-meata-vegimins.......


More on the reincarnation of my blog at a later date.