The Family Man's Bathroom Book of Parenting

"...there is no applause (from the world-inserted by me) for dads and moms who give up success, leisure, position, or ministry to raise the children that God has given them."

The above quote is from Todd Wilson's book listed in the title of this post.  If you have never read one of his books or listened to him speak at a convention, it is worth your time to do one if not both!

He speaks to not trading in diamonds for stones, as many of us do much of the time.  I find it interesting that he includes ministry in the list of things labeled as stones that parents trade their diamonds in for.

Hmm... maybe I should give one away sometime.....

Pickin Berries

We went berry picking this last weekend, and it was so much fun!  We are going again this coming weekend, as well as peach picking.   LOTS of canning in my weekend forecast, but come this winter it will be so nice to have a taste of summer!  Here are some pics:

We picked 18# of berries in about 2 hours.  This was our first time ever to go, so we thought we did OK! You can pick on shares at this farm, meaning they keep 2/3 of what you pick, but your other 1/3 is free!


Here are some pics of the garden.  God has really blessed it this year, which is wonderful.  Last year was such a disappointment.

Just thought I would share these- the kids just love harvesting the "fruit" of their labors!

Beans, the cure for morning sickness (no, really)

This is incredible news for pregnant moms everywhere, and if just one person benefits like I did, I will have done my duty to womankind.  (OK I am being a bit facetious here, but I am pregnant!)

I was very very sick with this pregnancy, and really thought "OK Lord, I am done.  I can't do anymore of this, either to my family or to myself.  I don't want this to be my last baby, and I don't want to tell you no- please don't bless us anymore, but this can't happen more times". I couldn't hold down water, and was basically on the couch just moaning around.  I don't consider myself a whiner, but this was the worst I had ever felt.

A friend at church asked how I was feeling, and I was honest.  She mentioned beans, and that another mutual friend had told her.  We had not shared our news with our children yet, so this friend was the only one that knew.  I had miscarried a twin in this pregnancy- we were not sure how things were going to work out, and didn't want to disappoint the kids with a total miscarriage.  I couldn't call the friend who knew the whole story on beans, so I googled it!  "beans and morning sickness"

I finally found the website http://www.karenhurd.com/concern_morning_sickness.html

I have never met Karen Hurd, or talked with her, but I was desperate and beans are harmless (and good for you) so I ran straight to Taco Bueno.  Not my first recommendation, but I was desperate; too desperate to wait on a pot of beans to cook!  I got relief after about 10-20 minutes,  Not complete relief, but it eased a bit. 

In a nutshell, the theory is that beans (soup beans, legumes specifically) are high in soluble fiber.  The soluble fiber binds with the bile you are producing because of hormones and the fats in your diet.  You get rid of the bile, and the toxins the bile is carrying around.

After a few days, the morning sickness is virtually gone.    You do still have to continue to eat them, sometimes five to six times each day, depending on your level of sickness.  I finally found that one or two servings a day was enough to keep me feeling fine after I finally got over the hump, so to speak.  Around 14 weeks or so the nausea went away and I haven't needed them, although the health benefits are well worth eating them everyday. 

Karen Hurd has an amazing story of how God healed her daughter and her family after a unique poisoning - read about it under the tab "The Poison Rug".  She has a PhD in nutrition, and has general recommendations on all sorts of health issues. 

She really explains all the details very well, and on a level "real" people can grasp.  I was so happy to have any relief, any amount- my kids thought I had lost it!

The beans that Karen Hurd recommends are basically just legumes, or what we call soup beans.
Pintos, black beans, garbanzos or chick peas, lentils, peas, soy, edamame, etc.  Anything that comes in a shell that you hull.  You can use refried beans, hummus, you name the recipe.  I just couldn't eat a lot of fat throughout the day, so I would make a bean only burrito, and skip the cheese and meat.  Even the tortilla was too much at first. Dull I know, but survival first!

Taking it one year at a time...

I keep hearing on an increasing frequency families who talk about taking homeschooling one year at a time.  Usually followed by "we are looking for the Lord's leading in our children's lives and asking direction each year as it comes" or "we re-evaluate what the Lord wants for our children each year".

 WOW!  What pressure for a wife and mom!  The message here is that if she does an adequate job then she will be allowed to school them for another year or maybe semester.  Then here comes the evaluation! 
If God has called your family to homeschool, then why would He change his mind?  If you feel that God is leading you in a different direction, is it possible that you were not called to homeschool to begin with?
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19 NIV

I think there are a few reasons people change their minds about homeschooling. 

• not enough prayer went into the decision- ie- a clear answer was never heard. 

• you are homeschooling with out the blessing of your husband.

• not enough research went into the decision- you underestimated the level of commitment that it takes.  Not even thinking of lesson plans and courses of study, I am mainly speaking to being around your kids for most of the day every day every week.  If your kids are gone most of the day, it is easier to ignore that ugly eye rolling or character trait that is driving you crazy.  When your kids are in your face all the time (and vice versa) you are in constant contact with who they really are.  Are they obedient and willing to please?  Or are they belligerent and constantly pushing for their own way?  This would be hard to be around all the time.  Who would not want to give up? 

I once read that children are like night watchmen, always having to check to see if the doors are locked.  Are they going to say no when I ask again for the ninth time?  If they know you will cave, they get the message that they are not worth the effort of the fight.  Sometimes this is what it takes.  My mantra is "I love you too much to let you act this way"  I think I read this in a James Dobson book.  Strong Willed Child maybe?

• When you homeschool, you are in your "game face" all the time.  You have to be a good example of what you are teaching your kids.  All. The. Time.  There is no down time, no resting spiritually.  You don't get to sit around and be lazy, unless you would like your children to emulate you in this.  

The point I am trying to make here is that our kids need to know that they are worth all of the time, effort, sweat and tears.  When we go back and forth this does not send a clear message of love to our children. 

• there goes your "me time".  Problem with this is, me time is a lie straight from the devil himself! more on this in another post.  Essentially though, we have bought the feminist lie that we are supposed to be fulfilling ourselves in order to be good at filling others!   I recommend the book "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald.  
• I think home schooling is in fashion.  I think it is looked at by some as a more spiritual option than public school, or a great way to get a head start for little Einstein, or my friend is doing it I think I will try it...etc. 

• We are just not willing to make this level of commitment to our family.  Homeschooling means giving up a lot of personals- money from two incomes, freedom, time, sleep, nicer cars, nicer houses in a lot of cases do to direct result of first on the list.  You get the point.   We forget though, that it is all just ash.  Sometimes really shiny ash, but ash just the same.  What we get to take with us is relationships.  That is it. Nothing else.

When we have not counted the cost of what we start, then we wind up like the builders that Jesus talked about- halfway done and out of money.