Homeschooling through grief

This is a difficult topic.  Grief is like a worm, or a virus.  You never know what button will cause it to rear its ugly head.  You are fine one minute, the next having a melt down because you are taking one of the last Tylenol from the bottle your mom bought for you when she worked at the hospital (of course the employees can buy those huge bottles for just about $2).  For those who may not know, my mom died of lung cancer this past July.

I don't think all grief is equal.  If the loss were a child, or a spouse, I think it would be a whole lot worse.  I had an entire year to "prepare" for the passing of my mom.  Whatever that means.
And still, I felt like I was walking through a fog.  I desperately wanted my kids to feel some stability, but at the same time allow them to see that it is ok to mourn, and go through a grieving period.  We don't have to be super moms and do it all perfect all the time.  Homeschooling gave us the freedom to have a really lousy year. We made up for it with some double lessons later.  But it gave all of us the chance to grieve and have the down time needed, and just to be around one another was a comfort.

My mom had a gambling problem, and so did the man she was married to, so they never had any money.  I have nothing of hers to remember her by.  I have a very few things she gifted me with (her love language); the pan she used to bring over some treat- "just keep it", the cookie press she loaned me- "you will use it more than I will", some really nice pampered chef place mats, napkins, napkin rings and table runner.  I think she must have won a few thousand that time.

I don't exactly know what to tell someone else going through a loss.  It is hard.  You feel alone.  Others let you down, either by not doing what they said they would, or not doing what you think they should.  They don't know what to say, they say the wrong thing, or nothing (maybe worse!)

Love on your kids.  It helps.  Try and stick to some amount of routine, it helps them and you.  Don't push to hard at school.  There will be time later.  Spend the emotional time bonding with them through the worst of it- they will be strengthened by it. Try and have some fun with them.  Maybe take a break from the real school and do a non fussy unit or just read some good books. You just might be surprised at what good therapy good books can be.  And cheap!  The Lord will supply you will all your needs, if you can trust to lean on Him.  Sounds cliche, but having been through a bit of it myself, I feel that I can say that.

One of the ministries of motherhood-missions

No one would argue that it is vital to send missionaries over seas to spread the Gospel.  But I think that one area of missions that is overlooked is motherhood.  When we think of missionaries, we often think of the family in Africa or some other wild part of the world spreading the Gospel to the native tribes of that land.  We are commanded to do this as followers of Christ.  Jesus is specific in the order we are to go about this.  Our Jerusalem's are the towns we live in, our places of employment and even the places we shop and do our business.
But what about the stay at home mom who is not employed outside the home?  Since she has no real oppurtunity to share the Gospel at work should she then go on a mission trip to Mexico to fulfill this?
I think not.   I think especially not if she has unsaved children at home, but that is another post.  Here is why I think this way:  Titus is very clear about the role of the wife and mother.  Her duty is first to her husband, and then to her children.  Quoting the NIV Titus 2:4-5: "Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
The pronoun "they" in verse four refers to the older women spoken of in verse three.  Older women are supposed to be urging younger women to do these things! This is simply not happening.  Even in christian circles (ie-church) you will hear the exact opposite.  What about your career and your dreams? Don't you know that this ministry NEEDS you? (another 'nother post).  As a stay at home mom who homeschools as well, I am in constant contact with my kiddos.  They are my ministry, after that to my husband. But this ministers to my husband as well, as they are after all his kiddos also.  That my children come to a saving knowledge of Christ is my foremost goal.  All the learning that we do in our homeschool is so that we can wonder at God's Glory.  Sure it will be nice if they are one day productive citizens, but the most important thing is their salvation.  This ball is in my court.  I am not of course the Holy Spirit.  But it is my relationship with them that will have a major impact on them spiritually.  Let's face it.  Who do they turn to with skinned knees and broken dolls?  Learning to count?  As they get older mom becomes the mentor.  I am enjoying my blossoming friendship with my fourteen year old daughter.  Almost in high school, she is at a place where her faith meets the proverbial road of life choices.  Have I shown her in my actions (at home behind closed doors) that my faith is real and sincere?  Or am I walking like a pig and yet quacking like a duck?  Because they don't have to be nearly as old as fourteen to figure that one out.  Because the proof is in the pudding (to borrow yet another proverbial saying)- if you say it is chocolate, but it looks, smells and tastes like strawberry, you are either lying to me or telling me you think I am too dumb to know the difference.  Neither of these scenarios is good for parent/child relationships.
My children are my mission field.  As they should be.  My children are my ministry (after my ministry to my husband).  Yes, marriage is a ministry in and of itself.
Are your children your passion?  or are you just bidding your time til they are out of your hair?  Got that "me time" craving?  It will only leave you empty, wanting more.  It never is filled, because it is Self centered.  Are you loving your husband, loving your children, self controlled and pure, busy at home, being kind, and subject to your husband?  It is a tall order.  It will leave you satisfied beyond anything you can possibly imagine.  It is exactly opposite what the world tells us to pursue.  That should be the dead give away.  Herein lies the ministry of motherhood.

Blogger frustration

Once again I am tempted to ditch Blogger and go somewhere else.  I love my blog template (imported from a wordpress template) but for some reason occasionally blogger decides it doesn't like it and takes parts of it and (not knowing html) does something terminal to it.  SO I have to remove the whole thing, go with something else and then start over from scratch.  Ok, so this is boring, but it is my blog and I can soapbox about blogger if I want.  Not knowing html makes it a bit difficult to navigate the waters that are blogdom, but I don't have the time nor the inclination to learn html.  I will try again maybe Sunday to reset it.  The theme I am in love with is called Desktop chaos, and I think the guy that designed it had a peek into my head- this must have been where it came from. 
Maybe if I blogged more often than once a month I might notice when the thing goes awry. 

That leads me to meander about the general life and meaning of my blog.  I am thinking it needs a new life.  Just not sure what that is going to be yet.  Most likely just my sanity saver.  I would put one of those widgets on that shows how many readers one has, but I am afraid it would just be one.  Maybe two. GO Dad! 
Speaking of Dad, he is seeing a Dr that practices alternative therapies and is having great results.  Now if he would only take all of his vita-meata-vegimins.......


More on the reincarnation of my blog at a later date.

Our double yoker

We have one or two hens that lay double yokers occasionally.  The kids really love it!  They think it is the bees knees to have chickens at all, and when they lay (every day) it is like a treasure just for them! Not just the little ones enjoy it.  Needless to say, we eat a LOT of eggs around here.  Well, and we should!  They are organic (not certifiable, but still), healthy, from our own free ranging hens that we feed all natural feed. AND those gals are loved on!  A lot!  They truly are pets.  As for the chickens, I think they like the kids as much as chickens can like anybody. As for the chickens liking us, they do, as long as we have scratch in our hands!

Christmas Time

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year.  Yes, we blow things out of proportion, forget the reason for the season, over buy, over do, over eat and whatever else over you can think of.  We rush, we leave things out, and step on others toes without really meaning to.  It can sure bring out the worst in us.  Losses are felt more deeply.  I think it is the contrast.  But it can also bring out the best in us as well.  My oldest just finished a puppet performance for a low income housing project downtown.  There were not many children there.  But the residents that they performed for were thrilled to see them.  These kids have been practicing for this performance since September.  No one else may ever know that.  They got a chance through "play" to explain the reason for the season, and the reason for some of our traditions as well.  What an eye opener for these kids. We got a special family presentation on Tuesday night- the rest of our kids loved it! Especially little princess E, she had all the adults laughing at her laughing at the puppets!

Here are some pics of our house lit up and some of our Christmas trees.  The tradition of the Christmas tree goes back as far as Martin Luther, and even earlier.

Advent tree.  This is a neat tree because what we do is wrap 25 books with a Christmas theme, and each child takes a turn and unwraps a book every night starting December 1st.  Dad (or mom or a big sis) reads the book to the family aloud.  Some books are board books geared towards babies/toddlers, and some are a lot more intensive, like say Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  This is my favorite tree, and is decorated with a fishing/hunting theme. 

This is the main tree (below).  I have decorated with angels since we were first married.  I almost hate to use them now, since I know a lot more about angels than I did, but it is a tradition I suppose.  It is also decorated with fruit, and we talk about Martin Luther and his tree, the reason for the lights, the meaning of the fruit coming from the middle ages and the plays they would have in winter about the creation account and Genesis.

This is just another tree by the fireplace.  I just like the look of all the greenery throughout the house!

The upstairs bathroom tree.  Yes, in the bathroom!

I think my grandma thinks it is fun that we have so many trees.  I sure enjoy them!  The kids enjoy them.  These are our special traditions that are meaningful to us.
Merry Christmas!

Rainbow over Tulsa

Pickin punkins

The kids were enthralled with these tiny table pumpkins.  

They would have taken a bushel home if we had let them!